Anger Is a Bridge, Not a Place to Live

Anger.

An emotion we all think we should avoid.

An emotion many of us were taught was “bad.” At least I was when I was a child.

But is it bad?

In certain situations, yes.

In others, absolutely not.

Anytime I’ve radically changed my life for the better, it started with me getting angry about the situation I was in. I couldn’t stand whatever it was any longer.

I was fed up. I’d had enough. Something had to change.

So I changed.

Anger forced me to.

It was the emotion that made me walk across the bridge to a new way of living.

And after all these years, I still believe that. Sometimes anger is the bridge to change.

It can wake you up.

It can clear the fog.

It can make you finally say, “Enough.”

Enough of being treated this way.

Enough of treating myself this way.

Enough of doing the same thing over and over again and wondering why nothing changes.

Just enough.

Do other emotions help us change?

Of course.

But sometimes you just need to get really pissed off.

Anger has energy behind it. And when you use that energy instead of letting it use you, it can move you forward.

It can make you set the boundary.

Have the conversation.

Leave the situation.

Stand up for yourself.

Stand up for someone else.

Try something different.

Change your life.

But here’s something I’ve learned since I first wrote about this a few years ago.

A bridge is meant to be crossed. It’s not meant to be lived on.

Anger may get you onto that bridge. It may even be exactly what you need to get all the way across it. But eventually, you have to leave it behind.

That’s where forgiveness comes in.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you weren’t allowed to be angry. It doesn’t mean what happened was okay. And it certainly doesn’t mean you have to pretend you weren’t hurt.

Sometimes your anger was necessary. Sometimes it protected you. Sometimes it showed you exactly where the line had been crossed. Sometimes it changed your life.

But once anger has done its job, you don’t have to keep carrying it. You don’t have to unpack your bags in the middle of the bridge and live there.

You can keep walking.

Is change scary?

Yes.

If you change, are you guaranteed success?

Sadly, no.

It DOES, however, guarantee that you’re finally moving. You’re not stagnant anymore.

And what happens if you fail on this new road of yours?

Nothing. You try again. Get up off the ground. Dust yourself off. Eat a pint of ice cream if necessary. Then try again.

I’ve failed.

A lot.

And every time I did, eventually I got back up and kept going.

So get angry if you need to.

Safely, of course.

Let yourself feel it.

Listen to what it’s trying to tell you.

And if it’s telling you that something needs to change?

Start walking.

That bridge is just up ahead.

Cross it.

Just don’t build your house there.

Until next time,

Katharine