How often do you should yourself?
- I should clean my house.
- I should lose weight.
- I should exercise.
- I should work harder.
- I should read Katharine’s new book (LOL.)
The problem with that word is that it implies that you are obligated to do it. It’s the right thing to do.
It also implies the follow-up thought that if you don’t then you’re a failure.
Or money won’t flow.
Or you won’t get healthy.
Or you won’t be in a great relationship.
It’s a seriously negative word filled with shame and judgement if you don’t do it.
How about when you “should” on someone else? It’s a bit patronizing and judgmental right? An implication that I’m right and you’re wrong.
Listen, we all do it. I’ve done it myself! When giving advice over the years, I have often said “here’s what you should do…” The word is a path that leads to a road that you didn’t create for yourself.
So what word can you use instead?
- I could…
- I choose to…
- I am going to…
- I would (when giving advice)
- Have you considered this…
- I will…
If you are thinking of something you “should” do, then take a second and really ask yourself WHY? If you like the reasons, then go for it. If you don’t? Choose another path.
I used to say the words “I got nothing” all the time. I used the phrase when I had nothing else to offer to the conversation. I learned later that it was a powerful mantra that caused money and opportunities to stop flowing to me. Took a LOT of willpower, but I eventually learned to catch myself when I found those words on my lips. I learned to change it to something else, often in the middle of the sentence! You can do the same thing with the word “should.”
So my advice?
Stop shoulding yourself!
At the very least, it will bring some positivity and possibilities to your life.
Should you?
Maybe.
Could you?
Absolutely.
Until next time,
Katharine
